Sunday August 29, 2010

Today we had the opportunity of speaking in sacrament meeting. They asked our entire family to speak. Jason and I were so proud of the boys. They each stood so confidently, and talked with clarity and expression. It was awesome! I was blessed to speak on family unity. It was the perfect topic for me. We have been struggling with harmony in our home. The boys, meaning Austin and Preston, argue and fight a lot. They haven't been respectful to me. It hurts so much to have them act this way. I am sure they are still adjusting to all the changes. Austin may be struggling with his ADHD. We may yet have to medicate him. He struggled terribly on the medication, I don't want to medicate him again if possible. But if he continues to struggle with his choices, and acts impulsively, we may have no choice. Just last week, he got in trouble for lingering in the bathroom after his specials at school. He got caught for trying to sneak off the school grounds. He shot out one of the windows with Jason's BB gun, only one day after receiving it for his birthday. We are concerned about our son. We love him so much, and I don't want him to go back to where he was before we started counseling and medication. It is a matter to pray about. I want to do the right thing for him, for all my boys. I need them to be unified. I am working at the school in the mornings, and tomorrow I begin my classes at USU. My schedule is going to be hectic. I need our family to be a team so I can do all that I need to do. Tonight I want to present a family home evening on that very subject. I want to talk about what I need them to do while I am in school. I know I am supposed to be in school, and I know with Heavenly Father's help, we will find a way to work through this as a family.

It is hard. I haven't felt good this week. I have had more headaches and dizzy spells. One happened while I was in the temple. I was so worried I wouldn't make it through the session. But miraculously, I did. I decided to fill my prescription and take it. My sinuses have been horrible, so perhaps they are causing the flair up in the dizziness. Thank goodness I have been able to work at the school despite my feeling so sick. I love being at the school, with the other aides. It gives me purpose. I feel like for once in my life, I can contribute something valuable to others. I have already learned several things that I know will help me be a better teacher someday. I pray every day my body will hold together for the things I want to do. I don't know what is up with my stupid body. There is definitely a problem, but finding it is another story. At this point, I am going to let things go until I can't stand them anymore. I guess if the dizziness gets worse, I may have to face it. I have lived with it for so long, a few more months won't matter. (0:

Well, better go rest for a bit. I wish everyone a beautiful, peaceful Sunday!! (0: I know I have peace, and I pray everyone else will too.

Monday August 23, 2010

Wow! I think it has been forever since I last updated this blog. I am delighted to report the Winn family is now happily settled in Logan, Utah!! YEA!!!! Moving here proved to be a huge challenge, but we lept over the hurdles and here we are!! (0: The house we moved in is wonderful. I will have to post pictures of the house so everyone can see. We were so blessed to find this home. It is everything we could have wanted and more. The back yard is a little boy's dream. We have bugs of all kinds, as well as snakes and frogs. There are chickens to the north of our property. The boys love to catch grasshoppers and feed them to the chickens through the fence. The dogs have tons of room to run around. We have super awesome neighbors. We have never received such a gracious welcome in our lives. I think we received five plates of cookies and three loaves of bread. Everyone is friendly and helpful. I feel like I am in heaven. I didn't expect to feel so loved right off the bat, but we have been, in every way.

Our ward is also heaven sent!! It is not a huge ward, and everyone is very close knit. I am so grateful for that! Our ward in Rupert was just like this ward. We loved our Rupert ward! What a blessing to land where we are needed and wanted! We have been received with open arms and I can't wait for the chance to serve alongside these celestial people.

The boys started school at Woodruff Elementary last Wednesday. Their teachers are all simply amazing: kind and funny and caring. We do have to start an hour earlier than last year, but the boys have been troopers. They go to bed well, and we have had no problems getting them up in the morning. I was worried about Austin. He struggles so much with mornings, but he is the earliest riser. He gets ready without any reminding. It is amazing!! (0:

I have been additionally blessed. I absolutely know Logan is where our family is supposed to be. When we first moved to Logan, I thought I would need help getting into school. We did not qualify for residency in Utah. Therefore, the tuition was so steep! We had an offer to help us with the extra cost, but I was hoping, someway, somehow, we would find a way to avoid the cost. And it happened! I ended up changing my class schedule. The classes I had origianlly wanted to take became available, but only online. So this semester, I enrolled through distance education. Well, little did I know, when you register through distance education, the out of state tuition is automatically waved. Therefore, the financial aid I received was more than enough to cover the cost of tuition and books. Instead of a big financial burden, we now have money in our pockets, which will help us through the coming months. Now if that isn't a blessing, I don't know what is!!!!

I also found out the school district is hiring part-time teacher aides. Desiring experience, and a little extra cash flow, I applied and was hired at the same school my boys attend. The job is only 3.5 hours a day, and I will be working with small groups of kids, helping them with reading and math activities in three different grade levels. I am stoked!!!! I start training this coming Wednesday. I can't wait! I need time away from home, where I am interacting with other people and the children I love. I am finding that with the boys off to school, and Jason at work, I get very lonely and unhappy. I miss Ashley terribly! I don't like to have too much time on my hands. I also feel working three hours a day will help me be more focused on my online courses. Studying at home is not my first choice, so I want to make sure I am organized and disciplined and take the time needed to succeed in my classes.

We have also been blessed to spend time with my older sister. Dawn and I were always close growing up. She is only 18 months older than I am. We haven't lived by one another since we were in college. It is wonderful to get to spend time with her now. Her family likes to go lots of places. My family isn't used to that. We never were able to go on outings, especially over the past couple of years. Ashley was too sick, and we never wanted her to feel bad she couldn't go. Since moving here, we have been blessed to go swimming, hiking, walking, etc. Just last Saturday, we were able to go to Bear Lake with Dawn and my other sister, Tammy. It was a blast!

I have so much more to write. My heart is full to the brim with feelings of gratitude for all that has been given to our family. The blessings have been poured upon our heads. It is awesome!! I know Heavenly Father is guiding and directing our family. I know we are in the right place. There is a work for our family to perform. Although we can't have our angel with us, I feel her near. I miss her every second of every day. There will always be a huge hole in my heart!!! But Heavenly Father is there, watching over us, helping us through each day.