Well, it is official. Jason quit Idaho Watersports on Thursday. And yes, I support him wholeheartedly in his decision. It took a lot of faith. But Jason has never led us astray before. We have been blessed and guided with every change we have made in our lives. I know we will be blessed in our desires to make changes once again. With Ashley's passing, we are now free to leave Idaho and return to Utah. We need to leave Nampa. There are things that have happened here that need to be left in the past, bad memories that haunt us. We need to leave them behind. We had considered making changes last summer, for that exact reason. But it wasn't the right time. Ashley was very ill. She needed her nurses here. It would have been a nightmare to move at that time. But now, our situation is different. With her passing, our goals have changed. We both feel we need to get back into school to better our family situation. I don't care how long we have to sacrifice. It is 100% worth our time to finish college and earn degrees that will take us to where we want to go. Idaho Watersports is wonderful. But working there, there is no room to advance. Jason would need to work long hours for us to make ends meet. We would have to fight for insurance and retirement. He would never have Saturdays. In the summertime, when the boys are out of school, Jason would have to work long hours, as it is the busiest season for boaters. Every summer since we moved to Nampa has been like that. We don't have family time because of boat demos or whatever else has arisen. Jason doesn't want to be away from the family. There was a time when work was everything. He worked long and hard. We had a good living, but at what cost? Our family started to fall apart. I was very unhappy and always alone. We didn't attend church as a family. We became complacent in our goals and our eternal perspective became distorted. I found happiness in places that were not appropriate. No more! We are NOT going to let anything get in the way of our family, ever again! Our plan is to move to Utah. We are most interested in Logan. I will start school in the fall. I have already applied to Utah State. I will finish up my Elementary Education degree and then, if it is right, (and I am still praying about this one), pursue a degree in school counseling. I will work and then Jason will be free to finish up his degree. He is considering teaching as well. I know he would be a fine teacher. That is our goal. Education. Better jobs. Better future for our stripling warriors. I know our desires are righteous. I know Heavenly Father will bless us as we ponder carefully over our future. We will be guided.
I am also very excited to return to the temple. I am embarassed to say how many years it has been since Jason and I were in the temple together. He has been. I have been. But we have not been together for a very very long time. We need the blessings of the temple to fill our lives. We need be as close to the spirit as we can be, especially as we make all these decisions. In addition, when I am close to the spirit, I feel like I am close to my Ashley. I feel her near, and I love that feeling. I know she will be close when we are in the House of the Lord. Jason and I are planning a trip to the temple next weekend. We will go with my parents and my brother and his wife. It is going to be a joyous day for all of us!!! (0;
So now that all that business is out of the way, I need to share some of the amazing experiences I have had over the past couple of weeks. I have been volunteering like crazy in the school. In fact, I have been at the school at least four days a week, often both morning and afternoon. Thankfully, the teachers have let me come. I needed to know if I still wanted to be a teacher. And I found out, I do. I LOVE children. I love helping them, talking to them, watching them interact together. Children are amazing. I know teaching isn't the most glamourous job in the world. You certainly don't become a teacher for the pay. You do it for the kids, for the love of teaching. And I feel that. I know that is what I am supposed to do now.
Two weeks ago, I was in Austin's classroom. He was having a challenging day, and ended up sitting at the back table with me. When the bell rang for lunch, he asked me if I would take him out to lunch, so we could sit and talk. I am embarassed to say I have never done that before. I took Ashley out to lunch all the time. It was a wonderful time for us to talk and bond. I was thrilled Austin wanted to have some one on one time wtih his mom. We went to McDonald's and got sandwiches. And then sat and talked. It was so fun! I felt such a bond with my Austin son. I was so thankful I was there for him when he needed me. I always want to be there for my boys. I love them so much!
Last week I had another special experience with Austin. The fourth graders had an aluminum can drive to earn money for their Wagons Ho Idaho History day in May. Mr. B asked me if I would take the cans to the the recycling center, which I was happy to do. Austin was able to come with me. We had such a fun time watching the men unload the cans. The kids ended up with 37 pounds of cans which earned them $18.50. Austin was the one who took the receipt to the cashier who in turn gave the money for him to take back to his class. On the way back to the school, we stopped and saw Jason at work. It was a very fun. What a blessing to have time with Austin. I appreciate him now more than ever. He is often a difficult child, as most know, and I haven't been as close to him as I need to be. I am so glad I can focus on him now. What a great kid he is!
Well, time for choir practice! I will write more later!