Sunday, February 19, 2012

A Beautiful Sunday

I am not going to write much today. But I have had so many blessings come my way this week, I wanted to write about them all. Last weekend, I knew this week would be busy. We had several activites on the calendar. When I looked at my school schedule, and all that was due, I felt instantly sick. Seriously, five tests, a geology assignment, a stats assignment, 6 chapters to read to prepare for those tests, 8 lectures and two videos to watch. I looked at the available time to complete those tasks and didn't see any way I would survive. As menitoned previously, I have to get high grades so I can get into graduate school. Honestly, even if I wasn't going on to grad school, I would want to get as good of grades as I was capable of. It's just now, I know I need A's. I prayed so hard last Sunday. I told Heavenly Father I was maxed out. I was trying hard to make every moment of the day count. I tried hard not to waste any time. I asked him to help me get through this week, without losing my mind. (0: I was given my own miracle. My geology assignment that normally takes me three to four hours to complete, took just under and hour, reading time included. I was able to get everything done for my abnormal psychology class. Even given the limited study time I had for the chapter, I remember what I needed to on both the quiz and the test. That was not a coincidence. I finished up the six chapters for my Abuse and Neglect class and was able to take the test without hours of additional study time. I remember what I needed to. What a miracle that was! We ended up with no school on Friday and again, tomorrow, (Monday). My wonderful sister took Austin and Preston to Burley. Without all my kids here, I have flown through my stats readings, lectures, and assignments. I still have to complete two tests for that class, but I don't feel the all encompassing panic I felt last Sunday night. Heavenly Father heard my prayers. He helped me climb all the mountains this week. Now I am in the valley on the other side, and even though there are hurdles left, they don't seem so big. With God, NOTHING is impossible. But we have to do our part. We have to ask for the help we need and then we have to trust in Him, nothing wavering. We have to do all in our power so he can help us. I tried so hard to do that! I did! I read, I worked, I prayed. And he answered! I am so thankful I know he is always there for us and that he hears and answers our prayers!!!!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Finally a second to write! (0:

Wow! Today is February 1! I can't believe how quickly time has flown! I wanted to update my blog a long time ago, but I haven't had time. As it happens, I am really sick today. I got a stupid cold, which has decided to attack my entire body. YUCK!!! I didn't want to stay home today, but I felt so awful, I didn't have the strength to go to work. Not only that, but I have a full week. Life doesn't stop when you feel like dirt! (0: I figure I have one day to rest and then I have to hit my work load hard again!

My schedule this semester is tough. All my classes are involved classes. Usually there is at least one class per semester that is easier than the rest. This semester, that isn't the case. My biggest problem is that I have so many other things to do, I don't get a good run at my homework until late evening. By that time, I am tired and ready to crash. It doesn't make for a good study session for sure. That being said, I LOVE school! I LOVE psychology! I am learning so many fun things. I thank Heavenly Father every day for the wonderful opportunity to be in school. It isn't easy, but I will definitely say it has been worth every second! (Ok, so ask me that after five nights in a row of late night study sessions and early morning study sessions!) I feel in my being I am on the right career path. There is certainly a time and a season in everyone's life for education, family, etc. This happens to be my time and season for education. My kids are in school. Without Ashley, I don't have a reason to be home anymore. It helps me so much to be busy. I love my job!!! The kids I work with at school are amazing! I also work with amazing people. They are such a big help to me when I am planning my weekly lesson plans.

I am actually grateful I am sick today. I have been running so hard for the past couple of weeks, my body was wearing thin. My scripture time has been pathetic. My prayers haven't been sincere, especially when I say them as I fall exhausted into bed at midnight after a long night of studying! (0: Being sick has given me the chance to slow down and examine my priorities, to look at all the wonderful blessings that are in my life. I am certainly humbled to the dust, feeling as sick as I do, and it is such a great reminder of my dependence on my wonderful Father in Heaven, and His mercy and love that have been poured upon me and upon my family in the past year.

So what is new with the Winn Family? Well, last month Spencer ended up having surgery on his knee. That is the most exciting event I have to report. Spencer's knee had been hurting for a while. I knew something was wrong with it, but we didn't have insurance. I had applied for CHIP, but it seemed like every time we turned around, some little thing held up our application process. Fortunately, we were so blessed that CHIP came at the right time. I got Spencer in to a specialist, and we discovered he had a growth under his knee cap. They removed the growth and now, Spencer is doing great. His surgery went well. He was in minimal pain. He has gone to therapy one time, and his knee is moving almost normally now. I couldn't have asked for a better experience with surgery. Compared to what we went through with Ashley, this was a breeze! (0: Jason's wonderful dad and Kimberly sacrificed their entire day to come to the hospital on the day of Spencer's surgery. As usual, Grandpa and Grandma spoiled Spencer rotten! (0: They came bearing gifts for all the boys, and for Jason and I too. We were soooooo thankful to have Grandpa and Grandma Winn with us. Grandma Bell and my parents kept in close contact the entire day. All of my siblings called to check in on us. My ward brought us food. We were so blessed to be surrounded by angels who made a hard time easy to bear. (0:

I feel so richly blessed over the past couple of months. As mentioned previously, December was a very difficult month for me. My emotions were all over the board. I was stressed, tired, depressed, and anxious. Over Christmas Break, I made a conscious effort to really stay close to Heavenly Father. I read some amazing books that really touched my heart. I was able to go to the temple, which filled my heart with peace. I made an effort to make my prayers as meaningful as possible. All of those things helped me so much. I also had several opportunities to serve those around me. I can't tell you how strongly I feel the spirit when I am helping others. We have had so many people do nice things for our family over the past several years. I want so much to pay it forward and to be close enough to the spirit to know what I can do to pay it forward. I have listened to the promptings of the Holy Ghost, and I have been the beneficiary of oodles of blessings that have come from listening and acting on those promptings.

Life is a raging storm for sure. You never know from one moment to the next what may happen, what trial may come, what stumbling block may trip you on your journey back to Heavenly Father. I know one thing for sure, I want to be worthy in every way to one day be enfolded in the arms of our Savior!! I want to stand before Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and be able to tell them I did my part. I lived the best I could. I served the best I could. I endured the temptations of Satan, and became a better person because of what I learned from those experiences. Most of all, I want to be able to hold my little girl again! I miss my Ashley every second! She was such an angel! I wish everyone could have known her. She was such a happy, sparkly young lady. She taught me so much. Someday, I am going to write a tribute to her life. Mark my words, it will be done! (0: I want everyone to know what an angel she was. Her influence can be felt to this day. She changed my heart. She made me realize what was truly important. I am by far, NOT a perfect person. I have made so many mistakes in my life. But being blessed with such a valiant, perfect spirit makes me want to overcome all my weaknessess. It makes me want to be a little better every day. It gives me the strength to keep moving forward, even when the dark storms of life seem to overtake my whole body and soul. Faith in every footstep! That is my motto! One day at a time. One minute at a time. Sometimes, one second at a time. We will make it thorugh this life and then what wonderful blessings will await!!! (0: