The past couple of days have been difficult. Monday morning Spencer turned up with the stomach flu. He stayed home, and by Tuesday was feeling better. Tuesday morning I woke up feeling off. By Tuesday night, I knew I was sick too. Poor Jason, who has had trouble with his back for a few weeks now, simply bent over to pick up something off the floor, Tuesday morning, and threw his back out so badly, he couldn't walk. He has spent the past couple of days in horrid pain. We have iced his back, hoping that would offer at least some relief. But not so. Jason also went to the chiropractor, but was hurting so greatly after the adjustment, was unable to get off the table. I wasn't with him at the time, as I had to take Austin to a counseling appointment. I wish I would have been. It was all he could do to get himself home. I am at a loss how to help Jason. I am so worried he has an injury bad enough he may need to see a bone doctor. But no insurance, so of course, he won't go. We aren't exactly in a position to afford a huge hospital bill. It is an extremely frustrating situation. I am worried out of my mind.
I have also been struggling with dizziness this week. There are certain times for me when I feel worse, and this week has been one of those times. I do need to see a doctor. I always dread that because when I go to doctors, they tell me I am fine. No one seems to find anything wrong when I feel sick. Then it becomes a huge waste of time and money. I am so scared I will go and they will tell me I am fine. I can't bear that!! I know I have a problem. I need to get it taken care of before I get into school. I can't live like I am now, always fighting dizziness and feeling off balance. Yuck! Man, the poor Winn family is a mess of complaints at the present time.
On the good side, I received a letter from Utah State just yesterday accepting me as a student for the fall semester. I was thrilled!! I can't wait to begin school. Now we have to apply for financial aid and figure out where in the world we are going to live. I can finish my degree at the Brigham City campus or at the main campus in Logan. I won't be able to register for any classes until we figure out where it is we will officially move. We want to live in Brigham. I would prefer that. Jason would prefer that. But I am not sure finding work and a place to live in Brigham will be as easy to do as it would be in Logan. The unknown is driving me crazy!! I don't like living in limbo. It stresses me out. With Jason injured like he is, I am super worried he will not feel like moving everything. And I know he won't want anyone to help. He may have to swallow his pride for this move. His health is so important!!!! I can't bear to see him hurting like he is now. It is so awful, and I can't do a thing to help him feel better. All the things I have done don't offer any relief. I need him to be at his best. I need to be at my best as well. The stress is not going to get any better.
Yes, I am feeling discouraged tonight. And I miss my little girl!!! Thinking about moving, leaving this house we have lived in for so long, makes me sad. I know it is right to move, but it still hurts. My heart still hurts. I didn't get to go to the temple today, which didn't help. But there wasn't any way I could go. I wasn't feeling the best and Jason was hurt. Austin turned up sick. I needed to be home with Jason and Austin. I used the time to take care of Jason and Austin, to help at the school, and to prepare for Preston's birthday tomorrow. It wasn't a wasted day per se, but I feel so empty tonight. I hope I am up to the challenges that lie ahead for our family. Lots of faith and prayers are needed still!!!!
Connie, Please let us know when you are getting ready for the move and Dad and Nick will definately come help you guys move your stuff. I will come help as well if I can get off work. We love you and are excited for you to move closer this way. 2 hours is so much better than 7. Oh, yeah congrats on the fall semester. You will make an awesome teacher. Also remember your faith always will only take you as far as you need to go.
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