When she got up, she looked awful. Her color wasn't good. Her face was so swollen, her eyes were like little slits. I was very concerned. When the nurse came, she took one look at Ashley and agreed with me that we need to increase the lasix again. With the next sotalol wean coming soon, we have to get on top of this swelling as much as we can. It is only going to get worse as her heart continues to fail. Thankfully, she can breathe without difficulty. That is a miracle in itself. With how swollen she is, she should have more respitory distress. She doesn't. Not an accident I know.
Nancy and I discussed her back pain. I also consulted with Dr. Etheridge this morning about the pain, and the sotalol wean, to make sure she thinks it is okay to wean as quickly as we are. Both Nancy and Dr. Etheridge feel like Ashley's pain is coming from all the swelling in her lower back. Plus, she is in bed most of the time now. Staying in one position doesn't help. Dr. Etheridge suggested using advil to see if that would help, as well as heat. The heating pad doesn't work. We have tried that. Rubbing her back helps a little. Morphine takes the edge off a little bit, but doesn't block the pain enough. Thankfully, after she took some advil, she was able to have some relief. She can take advil with morphine and have no problems. That is also a wonderful blessing.
Ashley was super tired and weak, even more so than yesterday. I am not sure if it was the drugs, or just the extreme fatigue, but she had a hard time talking and thinking. Several times she tried to get up by herself to get something. She would ask me the strangest questions. At lunchtime, she got upset because she thought she lost the pepper shaker forever. It took me a few minutes to convince her the pepper shaker was still here. Just strange stuff. I have to watch her getting up and down. Last night, while I was blogging, she tried to get off the bed and collapsed on the floor. It scared me to death! She was ok. But she did tell me that everything went black before she woke up on the floor. Today her legs wouldn't hold her weight when she tried to walk to the bathroom. We ended up bringing in her wheelchair to get her back and forth. How grateful I am for her little purple wheelchair!! (0: I don't know what we would do without it.
So the plan continues forth. Tomorrow night, her dose of sotalol will be cut at bedtime. What that will bring, no one has any idea. I pray every day, no matter what, Ashley won't have to suffer. I know Heavenly Father won't give her more than she can handle, but it is killing me to watch her grow weaker and sicker and more unhappy with each passing day. Oh to see her be at peace!!
Connie, I am thinking of you and your brave and faithfilled family. Please tell Ashley that she is an inspiration to me and that her sweet and tender spirit has delighted me each time we meet. I am also inspired by you and what you are doing while bearing a heavy burden. Give yourself a huge hug for being such a good mom and wife. I saw Jason at the school yesterday and we talked for just a minute. He too has stepped up to the burdened to be carried and has done such a noble job of doing something so hard! Hugs to all of you!! Kimberly Ramm
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