Saturday January 2, 2010

Last night was a hard night. Ashley's back was paining her greatly. I didn't know what to do. I had given her morphine and ativan to help control her pain, but she was still uncomfortable. The only relief came from me rubbing her back, which I did a couple of times. We both slept restlessly. I found myself awake in the night, pleading once again for help from heaven. I was so worried Ashley could have an infection, or perhaps another clot. Both thoughts terrified my heart! I prayed for a long time that if the Lord willed it, she wouldn't have to endure anything more than she is now. That she could have some peace. She woke me up at 6:30 this morning in horrid pain. I got her some more pain medication, and massaged her for little bit. She was finally able to go back to sleep. Again, I prayed and prayed and prayed.

I know the Lord heard my prayers. Today was a peaceful day for Ashley. We began her sotalol wean, so I didn't know what to expect, if anything, over the course of the day. But nothing strange happened. Ashley slept most of the day. She only woke long enough to eat a little bit, and to use the restroom, but other than that, she slept. I kept checking on her every few minutes. With how much she was sleeping, I was concerned. But all was well.

Tonight, her lower legs and feet are horribly swollen. I know the circulation isn't that great because her feet and hands are always cold and gray looking now. Ashley struggles with her feet falling asleep. That happened two times tonight, when I was sitting with her. When the feet wake up, they hurt so much! She hates that, but I don't know how to help with that problem. We try to keep them elevated as much as possible. I don't know that it helps much. Her heart isn't circulating the blood well in her body. Things just get backed up. If the swelling continues, we may have to increase her lasix again. Nancy thinks with the sotalol wean, she may retain even more fluid that she is now, so she told me to prepare for that. Of course, no one can predict what will happen for sure. Ashley is not a textbook patient. Never has been. It is Heavenly Father's hands now. Only He knows what the next week will look like for her. We pray it will be as peaceful as possible. She is suffering so greatly already! I can't imagine any more burdens for her to carry!