Sunday August 21

I can't believe school begins this week! It seems like yesterday the kids were starting their summer vacation. I feel both excited and nervous all at the same time. Spencer and Preston will begin on Wednesday. Austin won't start until Thursday. I can't believe I have a middle schooler this year! Of course, Ashley would be entering 8th grade, but when she was in 6th grade, she was too ill to go to school. We were homeschooling, so I didn't have to watch her make that school change. Austin is way excited to enter middle school. Last week at registration, we found all his classes, and practiced with his locker. He isn't a bit nervous. But I am!! I worry about bullies and him being tardy for class. I worry about lunch time and if he will have people to hang around with. Austin is my social kid. He hasn't ever had problems finding people to hang out with. But I still worry! Believe it or not, I am sad because I won't get my "mom" hug every day like I did last year. I taught 5th grade power hour and never fail, at the end of group, he would come find me and give me a big hug. Those hugs meant the world to me! I won't get my treasured "mom" hug with him at a different school. I don't think he would think it was cool anyway. (0: But who knows!! (0:

It is late and I am tired so I won't write a huge novel tonight. I did want to say two things about today. First of all, I did speak to the bishop about cub scouts. This morning in bishop brick meeting, Bro. Phillips mentioned to the bishop the poor turnout for pack meeting and the lack of leaders present. The bishop was already aware of most of my concerns. We talked about several solutions. I came away feeling much relieved! I don't want to give up on this calling. I really enjoy planning the activities. It makes me proud when my hard work pays off, even in the smallest ways. I think with changes in leadership our program will improve by leaps and bounds. I will continue to pray we will be guided to those who will help us make our cub program more successful.

Sacrament meeting was awesome today! The last speaker was Bro. Maughn, who is the high counselor over our ward. He talk centered around fasting and how important fasting is in our lives. I have a testimony of fasting. Many years ago, when I was at college, I had a young man who was pursing me very diligently. He had me convinced God wanted us to be together. He told me on more than one occasion, he was prompted by the spirit that I was to be his wife. At first I resisted him. But over time, I came to believe he was the one for me. He never asked me to marry him. It was more like an unspoken agreement between us. There was no ring. Nothing like that. But we talked about marriage, where we wanted to live, when we wanted to be married, etc. Another huge problem with this boy was that he had previously dated my sister. She really cared about him. Then he decided he liked me. My sister and I were roomates at the time, and there was not good feelings between us. I was too stupid and naive to realize what a mess I was creating. (Jason had not yet left on his mission.) My parents knew I was in trouble. They knew this boy was driving a wedge between my sister and myself. They felt he wasn't the right person for me. They decided to have an extended family fast to help me in this decision. My dad drove all the way to Rexburg to get me for the weekend so I would be away from Mark as I prayed and pondered. It was on Sunday night, while I was in my room praying, that I finally saw the situation for what it was. I knew I was not to marry Mark! Heavenly Father had other plans for me and for my life. I started bawling!! In the mean time, my dear sweet Jason came over and took me to the park in Paul. We talked for almost three hours! In that time, I knew how much I loved Jason! I wanted him to leave in his mission knowing how much I cared and how much I supported him. He forgave me completely. I had to go back to Rexburg and tell Mark he needed to do some more praying because his revelations were not correct. It was embarassing and I felt awful!!! The point of all this is that I did not ruin my life because of the family fast my parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings held in my behalf. I know fasting works, and I feel that is a huge answer to our situation. Jason and I need to fast. We need to fast for guidance. We need to fast so the path for us will become clear. Fasting is hard. I don't like to fast often because I have blood sugar problems and I get sick and dizzy when I go without food for too long. But I know we need those blessings! Especially right now when so much is up in the air. I truly felt Bro. Maughn's talk was an answer to my prayers.