Saturday November 14, 2009

Greetings friends and family! Wow, another two days just flew by again. I can't believe how quickly time goes by. Yesterday was literally a whirlwind for me. We had lots of visitors in and out all day long. In the afternoon, Preston had a singing program at school and Ashley and I decided to brave it and go watch him sing. She did very well throughout the program. With all her near fainting spells and strange changes in her vision, I was nervous to take her in such a large crowd of people. She took her ipod and did alright. After the program, we were able to walk around the school and visit with the boys' teachers, as well as some good friends. I know Ashley enjoyed that brief outing. I will say it took it's toll on her. After so many visitors, taking Daddy lunch, going to the school and visiting, she came home, crawled up the stairs again, and fell asleep on the couch. I went up after her, to make sure she was alright. It was good to see her resting comfortably. She slept for over an hour.

Her rest was short-lived. We had yet another amazing experience last night, involving some special visitors. Jason, as you all know, loves to talk to people. He makes friends easily, and those he is friends with, all adore him. One person he has a particularly close friendship with is the owner of the Mac Store in Boise. (No shocker there! Ha ha ha!) Ken and his wife Amber, lost a son a few years ago. They are always asking how things are with our little angel. When they heard she had a difficult week, they wanted to do something special for her, and for our family. They came over last night and brought us a lovely dinner. They also came bearing gifts for all our children, as well as a couple of family gifts. I was speechless! I never expected so much! It was so special for us! They stayed for a while, and talked with us. It was so nice to talk to someone who has been down the path I am on now. Amber shared many things with me about her son's life, and his death. When they left, we again felt so loved!! How wonderful that they would take time out of their busy lives to come lift our burdens! And the coolest part of the night: we got to see Ashley smile, LOTS! (0: She has been so depressed this week. She will have moments where she is happy, but not many. Just the fact that she could smile for a little time lightened the heaviness in my heart.

Today was an okay day. She was super tired when she woke up this morning. We again had visitors. Jason's mom and half-brother and kids came to visit this afternoon. We did make a brief outing to the grocery store after they left. Ashley had no appetite all morning long. She hasn't been eating well at all, and it worries me to no end! I desperately tried to figure out something for her to eat. She finally agreed to try eating some chicken nuggets from McDonald's. Thankfully, she was able to eat all six of them! What a miracle that was! She came home from that outing and once again laid down and rested for a long time. I did cook a turkey for dinner tonight. She loves turkey and she told me if I cooked that for her, she would eat lots! (0: She didn't eat lots, but she did eat enough I was content.

My main concern tonight is that her food is going right through her again. Without the IV nutrition, the protein loss is a big problem. Her protein levels are falling, and with how poorly she is eating, I am not sure how to combat that. She will literally eat and run to the bathroom afterwards. It is horrible for her! There is no medication that will stop that problem. I don't know what to do.

We have found joy in our night time reading. Ashley has a love of the Friend, the Ensign, the New Era, and the scriptures. Nights are always hard for her, and when she can't fall asleep and fights the nervousness, she loves to sit and read with me. Those beautiful, inspiring stories calm her right down. She is able to relax and sleep. Through my reading time with her, we have also started reading those wonderful stories with the boys. They also love to hear how others valiantly live the gospel. I really feel this challenge is spiritually awakening all of us. Just in the past week, we have had numerous spiritual experiences. I have felt the spirit so strongly! I know the children have too. It lifts our hearts. It binds us together and makes us strong. In those moments when the spirit fills my heart and soul, I feel like I can conquer anything! I feel such love for my Heavenly Father, my family, my parents, my siblings, my extended family, the wonderful leaders of our church!! I am so grateful for this challenge and the growth it is bringing to all of us.