Sunday November 8, 2009

For all of my wonderful family out there: here is my newly designed blog! Thanks to my lovely sister, Tammy, and her expertise in the blogging department, I have decided this is the best way to keep everyone updated. Facebook will work, but blogging is much better. I can express things in a better way, without limitations on how many words I can use.

So the past couple of days have been delightful. Mom and Dad came up to Nampa yesterday to spend some time with us. I was so thrilled to have them come. The past week was rough. Ashley developed several new symptoms, and we have all gone through another stage of mourning as she has lost some ground. She was depressed yesterday morning, but when her grandparents arrived, she perked right up. She was able to get out of bed and come out in the living room and visit and laugh. When we blew up the air mattress last night, she came out in the living room and rolled and flipped on it. Mom remarked how fun it was to see her play and have fun like a normal child. (0:

Today was just the icing on our cake. Mom and dad brought a darling gingerbread house with them when they came. It was a project that Aunt Donna and Uncle Carl completed with their grandkids recently. Ashley loved the little house so much, she wanted to make one. Mom and dad, bless their hearts, went out and found a kit last night, so this morning, while we went to stake conference, they stayed with Ashley and helped her build a gingerbread house. It turned out so cute! Ashley throughly enjoyed making it! It brought a little sunshine into her day. I was so happy to get to go to church with Jason and the boys. Our meeting was uplifting and refilled our spiritual cups. I was so thankful Mom and Dad made it possible for us to go. (0:

We were blessed to have a very special experience this afternoon. Yesterday, I received a phone call from the stake president's office. The two visiting general authorities wanted to come and visit with our family. I was floored! Due to their hectic schedules in the afternoon, they were unable to come. But after stake conference today, they took the time, out of their busy lives, to come to see us. One of them was Elder Rasband, who is in the Presidency of the Seventy. The other was President Rowe, who is our Area Authority. After they arrived at our home, and had met all our children and visited with us for a little bit, Elder Rasband looked at me and asked me, "Sister Winn, the Lord sent us to you. Out of all the people in the stake, we were impressed to come here. Why do you think the Lord sent us?"

I can't tell you how much we all needed to have that assurance, that Heavenly Father knows our family. He knows our pain. He loves us. He is there, watching over us. This past week, I felt so much fear. I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to hold up. The other day, I was consumed with grief!! I could feel Ashley struggling emotionally and physically! She was so depressed! I was so depressed! On top of that, I began to question my worth as a person in this world. I have always struggled with self worth, but I began to question my value. I know my sweet Jason was struggling with the exact same thing. He too had such a discouraging week. Work was hard. He and I don't get much time alone anymore. That doesn't help when we need one another and don't get that time to cuddle and talk and build one another up. When Elder Rasband and Elder Rowe came today, the spirit filled our home. They brought the love of our beloved prophet. Elder Rasband had spoken to President Monson personally just before departing for Nampa. President Monson took him by the hand and told him to let the saints here know just how much he loved them! Today, he held Ashley's hand, and in a very powerful and reverant way, told her he personally brought the prophet's love to her. He told her that Heavenly Father was with her every moment of every day. He told her how strong and valiant she was. She was so touched! We were all touched! The spirit radiated from these great men! In that moment, I knew we would be alright. I felt the strength from heaven fill our home. I know my children felt it too. What an amazing experience for all of us!

These great men, before they left, prayed with us. Elder Rasband offered the prayer. Oh what an opportunity to hear such a man pray, and pray for my little family!! The spirit filled our hearts once again. They hugged us and expressed their love and belief in us. Even after they departed, the spirit stayed. We have all been spiritually refreshed. Words can't express how grateful I am that Heavenly Father sent those two men into our home. We needed them. We needed their strength and love. We needed to know Heavenly Father was there, that he knew we were all struggling. We needed those angels to build us up and prepare us for another week in this world. Oh how I wish we could have stayed in that moment forever!! Or bottle up that amazing feeling and save it for later.

Thanks again to all for your faith and prayers. Ashley is still with us, and I can't be more grateful for everyone who is praying for her comfort and peace. You prayed those wonderful leaders to our home. With them, came the strength and peace and hope we all needed. It was a miracle!! (0: