Wednesday November 25, 2009

Not a good day at all today. Ashley was exhausted from the start. When she woke up, her eyes were puffy and red. Her whole face was swollen. She looked so dull and gray. It scared me to death! She had a hard time falling asleep last night and was up really late. I know not being able to sleep doesn't help anything. But man she looked awful!

And today was not a quiet day. The boys did not have school, so they were all home. Austin had two appointments, one to see his counselor and one to see the nurse practioner to get a refill on his ADHD medications. In the middle of that, I had to make a quick run to the store, and we went to see Jason and take him lunch. Ashley was feeling too poorly to stay home. She wanted to stay right by my side. I felt so bad! The first appointment was at 11:00 and the second wasn't until 2:30. So she had to make three trips out today. By this evening, it was all she could do to walk around the house. Her little body was plain worn out! She would have felt a little better if she would have worn her oxygen while she was resting, but she is so resistant. Silly girl!!

The one new symptom she had today was an episode of irregular heart beats. It was after Austin's first appointment, when we were on the way to the store. She all of the sudden clutched her chest and leaned her head forward. She told me her heart was acting strangely, and that she was super dizzy. I felt her heart, and it was beating fast, then slow, then it would pause, and then go fast again. I asked her if she wanted to go back home. I hadn't taken the time to fill her portable oxygen. I should never leave the house without it. It just isn't a good idea, but being in the rush I was, I did. She didn't want to. So when we got to the store, I sat in the car with her and the boys for a little bit. Eventually, she felt good enough to go inside, but I was a nervous wreck! One of my worst fears is that something will happen to her while we are in a store. The first response of anyone around me would be to call 911, which is NOT what we want. We do have a DNR, (do not resusitate) order, and if something did happen, we would call the hospice nurses and they would come and help us through the situation. But to explain that to bystanders would be awful!! I hope and pray, that we never have to deal with a problem like that in a store. It would be horrific! Anyway, she looked pale, and I hurried speedy quick, so we could get home.

Ashley's appetite was still poor today. I was so frantic tonight, I begged her to choose anything, even the smallest thing, for me to fix or buy her. I wanted to get some fuel into her body! She finally said she would eat a small mashed potato and gravy from KFC. I was thrilled! So she and I went to KFC and got potatoes and gravy. She ate every bite. I was sooooooooooo grateful!!

She continues to take atavan and morphine at bedtime to help her to rest. Tonight she was itchy, so I gave her a dose of benedryl. Then she was really loopy, but the itching went away. David and Alicia, (my brother and his wife), arrived at our house around 11:30. We had a nice visit with them. Ashley was so happy they were able to come! (0: She loves her uncle and new aunt! We are all looking forward to a beautiful day together tomorrow!