Tuesday March 23, 2010

Today has been hard day for me. I have been feeling sad. I am sure the reason for my sadness is because this is the first day I have been alone all day long, without my kids or Jason being here. It was difficult for me to face the empty house. There are so many reminders of Ashley here. I decided after I returned from taking the boys to school, to let my feelings out for a while. I put on the wonderful DVD my brother made of Ashley's life, and watched it and cried. It felt so good to get the sadness out! Don't worry. I didn't self pity for long. (0: I got the crying out and then I got busy, making phone calls and cleaning and getting myself ready for the day. I am working hard on cosmotology school. I made more ground today. YEE HAW!! (0: I so want to be in school! I need to keep myself out of the house as much as possible. It is too difficult to be home. No doubt about it!! Austin's teacher is ready to put me to work in his classroom. I am estactic about that. I want to go volunteer with the other teachers too. I love kids and I love teaching. I know being at the school will be a great opportunity for me to serve and feel useful again.

I was very blessed to spend the afternoon with my visiting teacher. She is a wonderful massage therapist, and had offered to give me a complementary massage. I was delighted to get out of the house and go visit with her. I had no idea how tight and knotted my body is. I found out today. Sarah is going to help me work on my sore shoulder and neck. I have lots of aches and pain these days. I enjoyed my time with her at her home. She is awesome!! Both of my visiting teachers are wonderful. I love them both!!! (0: Then after I picked up the boys from school, we went out for a walk. It was so nice to be outside, looking at the trees and flowers growing again. Ashley and I loved going for walks. Before she was too sick, we would walk to the school every day. I felt close to her today as we walked. Close to her, but missing her so much!!!

Tonight I am going visiting teaching with a young girl in my ward. She attends the singles ward and needed a partner for this month. Tomorrow is more visiting teaching for Monica and I, doctor appointment, and parent teacher conferences. So it will thankfully be a busy day. I need to finish up thank yous as well. Most of them are written now, but I don't have all the addresses. I can't believe how many people reached out to us! So far, I have written over 80 thank-you's and I have more to write. That wasn't including all the people who sent cards. We have been richly blessed in so many ways. I can't thank everyone enough for their continued support. We still need it.

Well, better go make dinner for the troops!! Here's wishing everyone a wonderful evening!!! (0: