Monday March 1, 2010

This is going to be a very short post. I am super tired tonight, and Ashley is not doing well.

Last night was horrible. Ashley woke up just after 2:30 and could not breathe. Her lungs sounded horrible, and her nose was stuffed up. She was miserable! I did what Nancy told me: gave her a dose of lasix to help with the congestion, gave her ativan and morphine, propped her up high on pillows, and prayed!!! I also used the saline nasal spray to help get some of the gunk out of her nose. The spray did help so she could blow her nose. But she was up for almost three hours after that. I have no idea when she finally was able to sleep. We put on a movie and I fell back to sleep sometime in the middle of it and woke up as it was ending. Ashley had to go the bathroom a couple of times in that time frame. Thankfully, when I got up this morning, her breathing was more relaxed. She still struggled, but she was not heaving and puffing and congested like she was in the night. Nancy and I agreed that she needs the middle of the night lasix dose to help keep on top of the fluid in her lungs. It means we have to get up a little more in the night, but I don't care. If it keeps her comfortable, I will fly to the moon if I had to. I hate to see her working so hard to get air. It is horrible in every way!!!! We will also increase the morphine and ativan as needed. Those drugs work well together in combination to help relax her respirations a bit. I was worried about over medicating Ashley, but right now, I am not. It is all about comfort, and if she is sleepy, it is a blessing. It is so much better than seeing her work for every breath!!

Over the course of the evening, her breathing grew worse again. I can hear the congestion in her chest as she is next to me now. I propped her up really high to help her breathe a little better, and I made sure to give her a good dose of ativan and morphine. I just pray she will be able to breathe and rest tonight. I am so worried right now. It doesn't look good. If it comes down to it, I will ask Jason to give her a blessing. I have great faith that a priesthood blessing will relieve her suffering. I trust in that more than I do in the medicine. Miracles happen, and we have seen so many over the course of Ashley's lifetime. I know they won't stop now. Not when we believe in a loving Father in Heaven, who hears and answers every prayer. I know she would be blessed. Ashley has such great faith!!!

May everyone have a good night. Keep praying for us. The battle is still raging!!!!