Saturday January 23, 2010

I can't say enough good things about my wonderful husband. Today, he was my hero in every way! I could not have survived this day without him.

Ashley had a fairly good night last night. We got to be shortly after 12:30. She was only up three times to the bathroom, and only had diarrhea once. I was worried she might have trouble, where she ate right before going to sleep. But not so. She was again blessed. I have no doubt of that.

Today was another day of comfort. Ashley's pain was under control. Her stomach was under control. The diarrhea is an ever present problem. Today was no exception. However, she was able to eat quite a bit by her standards. Tonight her request was steak. I couldn't believe she was asking for that. Steak is not gentle on the digestive system. She ate four small pieces, and surprisingly, did not have a terrible fit of diarrhea afterward. That was not an accident. I know it was a blessing. I couldn't believe how good her appetite was all day long. It is so wonderful to see her eat and be able to keep the food inside her body for a little while.

Tonight she did confess that she felt her heart jumping around quite a bit over the course of the day. This afternoon I was suspicious of that. She was very tired, and as I sat by her, I could see her heart beating furiously. I know the arrythmias will happen. I was thankful none of them have been as bad as the ones last week. I know Ashley's comfort level is not an accident or luck. Heavenly Father is blessing her. I know that with every fiber of my being. I have seen His miraculous blessings showered over her. From last week, when she was so desperately ill, and I was convinced she would not live out the week, to today, with her sitting up, smiling, eating, talking........night and day difference. It isn't her time to go yet, and I can't tell you how I pleaded with my Father in Heaven, asking if she was to remain with us, that her great suffering and heavy burdens would be lifted. They have been! They have been! There is no doubt in my mind that God hears and answers our prayers. Not always like we think He will, but He hears! In the words of a great song I dearly adore:

Here I am again, down on my knees
And with every pleading word, Thy comfort I seek
Though the words are slow to come,
My thoughts are racing by
Peace fills the room, Thy spirit is nigh

He hears me
When I'm crying in the night
He hears me
When my soul longs to fight
Till the morning will come
And the light of the dawn reassures...
He hears me

What a blessing it is to know the power of prayer!!

Ok, it is late but I have to brag on my wonderful husband again. I have to explain why he was my hero today. (Ok, he is my hero EVERYDAY!!) This morning, my children were behaving like the spawn of hell. I hope no one takes offense to that statement, but they were. (Spencer was not the problem. He seldom is.) They were fighting and yelling and picking on one another until I wanted to throw them out! I know they were bored, but at that time, I couldn't do anything about it. I tried being patient and kind, not yelling, trying to referee in a way they both were appeased. It didn't work. I ended up screaming at them. Then I felt awful. I know they are dealing with this situation in their own way. We have tried to be extra patient and understanding with them. I wasn't very patient and kind today.

Poor Ashley heard the commotion going on and she got upset. When she gets upset, she starts having arrythmias, which she did. Her chest was hurting. She was in the bedroom crying, upset, and I couldn't go to her because the boys were having a brawl on the bedroom floor. One of them took a hit to the groin and was screaming in agony. I was trying to figure out what really happened, and why the one hit the other, and trying to calm Ashley down. I couldn't get the two boys apart. Austin wanted to get Preston for hurting him. Preston was screaming at Austin. They wouldn't even acknowledge me. I finally called Jason, in desperation. Bless the wonderful staff at Idaho Watersports! They let him come home. The minute he walked in the door, those boys were like straight arrows. They stayed in time out. (For me, they sneak out of their rooms. They stretch their legs out into the hall, they yell horrible things to one another.) They immediately made peace with one another. Jason sent me into the bedroom with Ashley, and he took over. He built them a huge fort across the whole living room. He helped fix lunch, and then he went outside and played basketball with them. He spent the whole afternoon fussing over our boys. I was able to calm Ashley down and attend to her needs. We rested. I was so refreshed after the break. I was able to come out and be nice. I couldn't have survived without Jason! He is such a good man! For those of you who know me well, I tend to freak out easily. I am extremely reactive. Jason is not like that. He is always so calm. When he is in the house, the entire atmosphere changes. Like I said before, we make a great team. We have to be a team. I can't do it all. I would fall apart. I thank my Heavenly Father EVERY DAY that He gave me Jason, who completes me in every way. He keeps me grounded. He keeps me calm. What a blessing!