Friday February 19, 2010

Tonight will be a very short entry. Ashley has been very ill all night long, and she needs her mom. It was not a good day. Ashley continued to decline. Her breathing was awful when she woke this morning. I could hear congestion in her chest. After she took her morning dose of lasix, she felt slightly better. Her breathing eased a bit. When Nancy came, she felt like Ashley was still working enough to breathe, she needed another small dose of lasix, which I promptly gave her. After talking, we decided the lasix dose needs to be increased, especially at bedtime. So now, I will give her 2.5 mL morning and afternoon, and 3.0 mL in the evening. We also decided to increase her ativan and hydrocodone, giving her the biggest hit at bedtime. The hope is to help her sleep more restfully through the night. Last night Ashley woke in horrible pain. I had to give her pain medicine to help her get through the night. Her legs are so bad! I don't know what to do to help her. The pain medication only helps a little. Every time she gets up, her legs ache so much, she will get back into bed and cry. Heat doesn't help. Ice doesn't help. Massaging them doesn't help. I can't think of anything worse than never-ending pain. If she continues to be in pain, Nancy told me to increase every dose of hydrocodone to 6 mL, versus giving her that dose only at bedtime. I can also add morphine, which Ashley doesn't want. It makes her so sick to her stomach. She doesn't need that right now at all!! It is so discouraging to watch her suffer so!!!

Tonight Ashley went into another arrythmia. She got up to use the bathroom, and upon getting back into bed, she turned absolutely blue. I could see her panting, so I asked her if she was alright. It is normal for her to catch her breath, but I could see she was really struggling. I felt her heart and it was going fast, then pausing, then going fast, then skipping and pausing again. It was beating so furiously, I could see her chest jump with each beat. It was scary! I gave her ativan to help calm her, and then sat by her while Jason, bless his heart, finished scripture and prayer with the boys and helped them to bed. That was all she wanted. To be held.

When Jason came in to the bedroom, she asked him for a blessing. At that point, she was still panting and very upset. Jason always gives such beautiful blessings!! Tonight was no exception. As soon as the blessing was finished, Ashley relaxed. Her heart stopped jumping. She was able to catch her breath. I could feel peace fill the room. It was a miracle. I have no doubt, Heavenly Father is watching over our angel. He loves her. He knows her every pain. He is so proud of her, and as long as she is with us, He will lift her burdens.