Tuesday February 9, 2010

I just finished reading an entry by my lovely younger sister, in her blog, about two mothers in a store, and the horrible way they were treating their children. I have to agree with Tammy when she says it is heart breaking when you know parents don't cherish their children, when they treat their precious ones like vermon. You never know what life will throw at you. One day your child may be here with you, and the next, they are gone. I know of several families that have experienced this. It is so awful! I know there have been numerous times in the past when I have had a hard time being thankful for my kids. On those days when contention runs rampant, and energy seems to ooze from every pore and nothing you try to do to help the situation does, you want to pull your hair out. On those days, it is hard to be grateful for your kids. But at the same time, since Ashley has been so gravely ill, I have come to appreciate my kids in ways I never thought possible. I appreciate the bursts of energy, the door slamming, the fingerprints, the string cheese and fruit snack wrappers stuffed in the couch, the little potty drips around the toilet from little boys with bad aims, the mountains of bubbles left in the bathtub soap potions, etc. I could go on and on. What a blessing it is to have those precious ones, entrusted so lovingly into our care. And what a blessing it is to have healthy children. I never thought I would be grateful for a healthy appetite. I never thought I would be grateful for wrestling matches in the living room at scripture time. I never thought I would appreciate the ability to walk around the house or take a bath unassisted or even to brush one's own teeth. But when those abilities are gone, those moments taken, your perspective changes. Those things that once were so annoying are now blessings. I have learned to enjoy every day, every struggle, every silly moment with my family.

As for this day, it was hard and long. Ashley continues to suffer greatly. Her energy is gone. Her appetite waining. The diarrhea is a constant demon, lurking at every bend. Thankfully, the pain in her back and legs wasn't as severe today. Last night, when her breathing was so labored, she asked her dad for a blessing. Jason gave her one of the most beautiful blessings I have heard in a long time. Immediately after he closed the prayer, Ashley began to breathe more slowly. I felt her relax. She fell asleep shortly after and was only awake a couple of times in the night. Today she has continued to be blessed. Even though her burdens were still heavy, I felt more peace in her than I have for a while now. The things that were so awful yesterday, while still awful, didn't take her down as low as they did yesterday. I know Heavenly Father was with His precious daughter today. There is no question about it.

The other hard part about today was that Preston turned up sick. He had a sore throat and cough. I kept him home, and in isolation as much as possible. Jason was able to help me out with that. I took care of Ashley and he took care of Preston. I hope that will keep the germs from cross contaminating. I can't tell you what fear courses through my veins when I think of Ashley getting sick. It would kill her. Hands down, And it wouldn't be a nice way for her to go. If her lungs were compromised any more than they are now, she would be in serious trouble. I pray and pray that she won't have to die like that. I think it is interesting to note, in her blessing last night, Jason specifically said that she would be protected from illness. I was thinking how glad I was that we didn't have sickness in our home. How wrong I was! I know Jason was inspired. He knew Ashley needed that specific blessing. How grateful I am for priesthood blessings. They work!! (0:

So we keep pressing forward.....one day at a time!!!