Overall, it was an okay day. Ashley was very tired when she woke. Her body was aching and her stomach was giving her fits again. She wanted to come out into the living room for a little bit, which she did. Our wonderful social worker came for a visit. She wanted to see how things were going and if there was anything she could do for us. At this point, we are taking one day at a time. There isn't much anyone can do for us but pray. I enjoyed the visit with Kennette very much. These days, I don't have much interaction with anyone other than emails. It does get lonely. I don't mean to complain at all. I am so grateful for every second of time I have with Ashley. I know when her time comes, I will not have any regrets. I can truly say I did all I could do for her. I served her and loved her to the best of my ability. I know Jason can say the same. I do hope he won't have any regrets either. He sacrifices so much every day for her and for me. There isn't anything more he could do.
This afternoon, Ashley was just plain miserable. She was hungry but afraid to eat. She did finally break down and ate a little bit, but was hit by a massive diarrhea attack. It was so discouraging for her. I don't blame her one bit. What a terrible problem to deal with day after day after day! I can't offer her any relief. This problem isn't one that can be controlled with medication. It is directly related to her failing heart. I give her immodium, but really, it doesn't help much. I guess by giving it to her, I feel like I am doing something to help. It is such an awful feeling to not be able to offer Ashley any relief. I am a huge fixer. I like to fix the pain, and I can't and it is heart wrenching for me!!
So we keep moving forward. Only Heavenly Father knows what tomorrow will bring. (0: I pray it will be a better day.
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